Ubi solitudinem faciunt, pacem appellant
by Saloma
Summary: Our beloved Potion master just after the Potters were killed. 'Even if you hate my character... aso' Severus might not loved them but they left a hole. There is a lot or memories containing James and Sirius...


Title: Ubi solitudinem faciunt, pacem appellant  
  
Author: Saloma  
  
Fanfiction: Harry Potter  
  
Main character(s): Severus Snape  
  
Rating: PG  
  
Summery: Our beloved Potion Master just after the Potters were killed. 'Even if you hat my  
character... aso' Severus might not loved them but they left a hole. There is a lot or memories  
containing James and Sirius...  
  
Note: Warning for angst? The title means 'Where they create desolation, they call it peace'  
  
Disclaimer: Mine, mine, mine! Honest? All characters are the property of J.K. Rowling.  
  
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.  
  
  
The news were chocking, Lily and James Potter - dead? Young Harry a orphan? Yes you-know-who  
was no more, one thing to rejoice over.  
The Potion master - Severus Snape - looked into the fire in his office. A tear rolled over  
his cheek.  
'Stress and smoke - don't mix them...' he said quiet, he couldn't believe that he would be  
sad when this day came - he knew that it would come.  
He slowly closed his eyes and a voice started to talk inside his head and heart. It hurt -  
the voice seemed angry - cold and hard it sounded with no mercy.  
  
"Did you think that I would be happy, that I would thank you?  
Then think again Potter. I never asked you to save me, I never asked you to care. For all I  
know it is a sign of weakness - you planed to kill me. Hated me that much? I never doubted."  
  
Slowly a memory appeared in his mind, a painful one. He could feel it all over again as it  
were on that night...  
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.  
'Snape!' he felt a pair of arm seize him by the waist, dragging him back to safety. He was  
still shaking not feeling the willow hitting him and the boy dragging him out. He was  
paralysed with fear. From afar he heard a laugh, a cold and mischievous laugh. 'Are you all  
right' the boy who had dragged him out looked him in his eyes. Still too chocked to answer he  
only looked at the boy. Dark messy hair and green jewel-like eyes watched him from behind a  
pair of round glasses. He saw a boy with shoulder length black hair almost turnover with  
laughter behind him.  
'Stop it Sirius! You could have killed him.' The green eyed boy said turning to his friend.  
All Severus could whisper was 'werewolf, it was a werewolf...'  
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.  
...he was happy that the memory faded and almost welcomed the cold voice.  
  
"Forced to silence - agony. You don't know how much this vexes me - or maybe you did. You  
knew that it would make me go crazy knowing but not being able to tell. You all knew so you  
showed me.  
So you still think that I would forgive you? I would thank you on my knees?"  
  
A new memory came to him, it felt like yesterday...  
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.  
'Ever heard of soap?' said Sirius with an mischievous smile on his lips 'You know a thing you  
use to wash you hair?' he was leaning against the corridor wall waiting for the next class.  
'Even water could help I guess' James said from behind Sirius, grinning at Snape.  
'You really think?' the first asked with a questioning expression on his face. Potter nodded.  
'Well, we'll see what happens' Sirius said with a smile that meant that anything could happen  
'//Aqua//' he said pointing his wand to one of the bricks above Snape. It turned into cold  
water that fell on Severus head and slowly ran down his back. Both James and Sirius almost  
fell down on the ground laughing.  
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.  
...slowly it faded and the voice started over again.  
  
"These tears of pain are not for you, these tears are for the sweet lily who died - innocent  
and kind. These tears of relief are for you, relief because now I can never thank you."  
  
The memory this time was warm and friendly - he almost smiled when it came...  
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.  
'Let me help' Lily Evens said and started to clean the cut that Severus made on his finger  
during a Potion lesson. He tried to take his hand back, but she held in tight. 'It'll get  
infected if you don't clean it.' she said looking up at him. He shook his hand and let her  
finish, he tried not to smile at her. He found it hard - Potters girlfriend - the Muggle-born  
witch - fire-head - she was always nice, even when she didn't expect to get any kindness in  
return.  
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.  
...when it disappeared again he could feel that the eyes were full of tears.  
  
"I hate you - but somewhere inside I care - I love you - but somewhere inside I never cared."  
  
It hurt his soul - the memory came and with no mercy it played inside of his head...  
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.  
Three young boys hurried across the ground somewhere, a forth one was running after them -  
having trouble keeping up. At the corner of the forth green house they turned around to be  
sure no one followed them.  
Severus watched them, wishing he could be down there with them. Feeling the warm friendship  
the four boys chaired. He turned around slowly making his way back to the castle to make his  
potion homework.  
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.  
...when it disappeared again he wiped off the tears with the back of his hand and closed his  
eyes - dark times indeed are over, but what is there to rejoice over?  
  
  
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.  
  
http://hem.passagen.se/darlimemento/?noframe  
  
Saloma (darli_saloma @ hotamil.com) 


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